In the subway dying to get to a bathroom but the train won't come. Oh my god. remember winter last year. St Clair west and I was dying at around 12 in the evening. Calling Anna every two minutes... I was so into come coke head that went to Northview. I wasn't aware.. Where is he now? I promised myself I wouldn't talk to people like that anymore but we spoke last Saturday when he wanted to reach a Woodbine party with me. Of course I didn't see him. But lately I'm hardly aware if he is still alive or not.
I saw an ex boy today. No one knew.
I'm at Bayview now. There's a sign that says "smile" grafted across a white wall. So smile? Just smile?
Viva now. I hope I don't smell like like a party. A girl at the bonfire gave me gum, she was cute. Makyala.
I love coming back home on the viva, the tinted windows, the street lights, the words on buildings all blurry making me have deja vu. My eyes are closing on themselves. Familiar bus stops, familiar buildings, shadows, lights. Familiar feelings and familiar sorrow. This is what I get for my moment of clarity.
Nevertheless things have finally began to make sense lately. I feel better. I miss my family. I miss the life I left behind me when I moved, I miss my past, I miss the smell and the taste. I miss those things that if I hadn't lost I wouldn't be so lost myself. Now my head is just scattered in all this.
Nevertheless things have finally began to make sense lately. I feel better. I miss my family. I miss the life I left behind me when I moved, I miss my past, I miss the smell and the taste. I miss those things that if I hadn't lost I wouldn't be so lost myself. Now my head is just scattered in all this.
I miss you dad.
I missed you so much today.
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