Flashing Lights..

I know I have not updated for a while, probably for the best. Just waiting for the emotion to settle down.


We all know what saturday May 1st was, and let's just say it was one of the best days of this month. I was disappointed with a few people for a bit but it's all good now, cause I learned to care about the right things.


I woke up that morning with a bit of a daze from the night before and decided to turn off my phone, miss my 11 am meet up with people and sleep until 1. I didn't even feel like going to the march. I went for a hair appointment, then receiving a text from Bailey asking if I would be coming and we agreed to meet up. I was done around 3 and left on a Bathurst bus to Downsview. Her phone was turned off till I got there. Then it just didn't pick up. Thank god I knew people there, right?


I met up with a few of my friends half an hour after getting there and we had the best few hours I could imagine. I finally saw Sophie too. But all this didn't matter. Why the fuck has he not called me? I know I broke his phone, aha, but why is it 5 and I have received no calls? I fucking miss you and I feel empty in the middle of 20,000 people and I know that you have been here since the morning...
Finally a call. Took my hand and we left Yorkville to his house. You have been amazing, thank you.
After a hot evening we met up with a few amazing people. They began drinking but I went home. I met a girl named Kate which is rare for me and we talked about modeling and life in general. I love his friends, they make me happy.


Buses home, conversations with people playing in my head over and over again. I spent about two hours talking to a guy from school that night. Please don't distract me. Or actually- do. I want to know what was meant to be.


Sundays always empty.
Monday-bottle of champagne, the gym for three hours.
Today-going for a walk with Helena. My life.