One dark surprise after another..

But really not a surprise at all..


I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss
You're looking skinny like a model
Just keep going to the bathroom always say you'll be right back
Well it takes one to know one kid, I think you've got it bad.


But what's so simple in the moonlight but the morning never is.


I've got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the train, and if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same.
We may die from medication, but we sure have killed all the pain,
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane.


And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this,
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did.


It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live.
Cause what is simple in the moonlight, now it's so complicated..




Here we are again. Here is that feeling, here is the sting and here I feel normal again because when things feel too good to be true; they are. I know things are really hard right now, I know the world seems to be collapsing under our feet but I also can't believe that this is still the way you are dealing with it.. Today I forgot I was alive. I just kept calling you wishing to hear your voice, wishing to be brought back to life. How much I feel like I know you when we are together, the hope you give me.. I really don't know what goes on inside your head at all. And that feeling, was it real at all? Because I feel something when you touch me, something that you're trying to hide, something that is more than what you intended for me to feel. You're my ladder to a better reality.. But I feel like I'm walking in the dark. I keep taking steps, up the staircase, almost as if I'm climbing so fast that I forget to stop and notice all the cracks that may bring us down when we are at the top. I really thought we were close. With all the effort and pain that has been poured out in the past week. I was walking up the staircase, thinking that there is one more stair than there is. But it wasn't there. You forgot, maybe you never knew. My foot fell down, through the air and there was a sickly moment of dark surprise. Now I'm here, trying to readjust the way I thought of things.