Happy Barfday

         As you may have heard before, Ghandi said that everything you do in life will be insignificant. But it is very important that you do it, because no one else will. On my 16th birthday I thought of what people would think and say if I suddenly abandoned this world. How would people feel? I know if one of my closest friends came to end their life I would give up, on everything. The hope they granted me when we met, the hope that there are still good people in this world and the hope that I am able to be happy. The ladder they built for me, the belief that there is something at the end of that ladder, is what they gave me; something to believe in. If they left this world, they would take all the hope with them. Everything they have taught me that has saved me from myself, in reality they did not believe themselves. Do you know what it's like to realize that everything you believed in is complete and utter bullshit? I sure as hell do not want my friends to find out. In this period of my life that is the purpose my friends serve, they bring me back to that place that I thought did no exist past my baby cradle. A place of no battle, loss, insecurity, when nothing mattered but the moment and it's beauty. A blank slate, far away from everything that I have been exposed to on this planet. So I sat here, thinking about how meaningless our existence is. Every-time I smiled, it quickly faded because "what is the point" ran through my head. Then I looked up at the sun and I realized; that is the point, that is the purpose, the exact same one that my friends have. In the Vietnam war, was there really a purpose for the horror? Does anyone even remember "what the point" was? Of course not. But why did the soldiers carry on in the battle? Why did they fight? For each other.
     In my point of view, humans do not belong on Earth anyways. We put holes in the ozone layer and holes in the ground just to fuel our own unnecessary pleasures. Animals live for the planet. But humans, we live for each other, and that, is the meaning. Just like the sun, when I look up at it and all my sorrow inside the bell jar I have created for myself evaporates. So just like my favorite star, we have a purpose. To light up each other's lives, to make the scary shadows and the voices in my head come to an end.