What did I just do?

R called. 
"Come out, I'm standing in front of your house."


Why won't he leave me alone? I made it clear what I want last time things got too far. What I felt back in June is gone and what happened at 3 am on August 8th isn't supposed to happen again.


"Just come out, I'll buy you smokes."


We walk, hardly talk, I just walk looking at him as his music blasts out of his beats, his eyes are so red. I didn't tell you I saw him the other day too, before going to Kate's.


We lay on the grass, talking, he keeps moving closer and closer, takes my hand.


"Why do you do this?"
"Cause you're K.R." He leans in. "You've got that extra spice. I don't kiss girls. I just.. But all I wanna do is kiss you. We're in a parking lot, how far can we go in a parking lot? Obviously I just want to kiss you. Get at me over here."


I rolled one too many times today..