"I'm going to miss this"

Probably the best weekend of my life.


As I said before, me, A, K, M and E with her boyfriend J all drove up to M's cottage for two nights and I must say it was even better than excepted. Everything, almost, was perfect except I left my camera at home. It kills me just thinking about all those pictures we could have taken, life in an album.


A car ride for three hours, the wind through the window, drinking your coffee, your big eyes, the smoke of your cigarette, your shoulder under my head, I feel so right when I'm next to you. I never think about you, but when you're with me I just wish I could act like you're mine. 


We took a boat across the lake to Lobe's cottage, the sights are beyond fucking beautiful. In all honesty, and I said this so many times, it was the most beautiful place I've seen since Cuba. I feel at peace, the world is quiet here.


We shared a coffee, belmonts, tiramisu, trees, a bed. Why did I feel that way when you moved in closer and you gripped your arms around me? I never feel that way the first time I kiss someone. Drink after drink after drink after drink, people start arguing, J and A don't get through the night and A gets his eye punched in. He said he'd leave in the morning and I felt my stomach sinking.


"You're probably one of the top reasons why I came here."
"Really?" He stops screaming about everything,
"I thought it was obvious."
"No." 
I take his hand and everything is better, soon we go to bed but there was no sleeping, just me and him and the taste of vodka in my mouth for hours.
Everyone is telling me I can do better, so why you on my mind now? I think your name reminds me of happy times.

I love Kate. She just makes me happy, there are to insecurities with her, we just flow together, it's always perfect no matter what we do. I hope she stays in my life, I really do.


So everything was going perfect until last night, we came back to Woodbridge and all stayed at Kate's. A drank too much... and I saw it coming too.
"Quitting smoking"
"Ahahahaa"
"Lets shake on it."
"Can we kiss on it?"
And that's the last sign of any feelings I got from him. 


Me and Kate are talking about my obsession for Cudi, how much I would love to marry him and of course as always, Kate screams out "nightrider!" and A follows her by calling me "Kit" and suddenly,
"But she's got a thing for an Italian kid!"
Everyone hears, I'm too gone to even give a normal reaction, I just smile "You're not sleeping in the same room as me tonight."


Today's morning was dead, F calls me and asks to chill tonight, I guess we will, I'll see Helena and talk to her about everything...


I can't wait to see what's next.