I Need Your Heart, Because You're Always In the Right Place.

Talking to Z, he really helps. I ranted on for a bit how unfair it is that A is wasting time chopping some next bimbo while I'm here... 
Thank god, in the middle he just went;


"Where do you see yourself in ten years?"


I stopped, thinking yeah I have this answer I always had it but this time I was stuck. I'm not even sure anymore. I always wanted the beautiful city, the beautiful people, I wanted to travel and live with someone I loved. So I told him that. Then I added that none of that mattered as much my desire to be happy. 


He just said;
"Traveling, trying different weed and girls."
"But don't you want to find one that completes you? So you can discover everything together?"
"I've found out that relationships don't work for me. I just don't see myself in another one."
"But don't you think you're saying that only because you're so young? Every relationship is different, you can't let that one that ended badly make that decision for you."
"Words of wisdom, maybe one day I'll find somebody but I wouldn't mind living single forever."


I wish I could say that for myself, but I think I was born to love, or something.


Today felt lonely. Third day. K said she felt sick and is staying in all day, plus it was raining. I made plans with B and C but later on felt like staying in. Went on a walk, bought butts, coffee, got home to a family dinner, everyone on my stepdads side. O was there with her boyfriend. We went upstairs, got drunk and talked about relationships and the never-ending problems to do with them. I love talking.


Messaged Jesse, it was so out of nowhere, me and him went out for a couple of hours until really late, we talked about everything. I see him differently now.