Cancelled all my plans and spent the day at simcoe, coming back to buy another pack and a walk with E, she makes me nervous. My mother is driving me crazy.
Woke up early today, no water or electricity in the house.. Supposed to be seeing a boy who I would marry if I could, and I am, in a few minutes... I get nervous at the wrong times.
Stayed up till 4 am talking to I. He will probably read this eventually and despise me a little bit more. He's my favorite boy ever, when he's high as fuck. I don't even know if our conversations work when he's sober.
He talks to me like he wants to these days. He says the past is vague.
"You don't want to see me."
"Yes, I do. I want to see you, all of you." Well I still want you back. But not in a way that I'm not over you, I finally am, just in a way that I want you for one night to make all those things we talked about come true. One night. Maybe in Tokyo.
Me and A haven't talked in almost two days now, are we done? I don't understand what happened. I really liked you. What did I do? I don't know but I'm not worried. That's as much as I'm willing to write about you.
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