Every morning, every night.

Sometimes it all hits me in the face, and I feel like this feeling will never go away. I will never get over you. Everything we could have had. The first time we spoke, your voice, the way you brought me into a world of my own where  nothing mattered. The only time I actually feel anything is when I write about you. I have never felt this way about anything I have lost in the past. Knowing that you are still alive on this planet, happy with someone who hates me. Knowing that you love somebody who is not me. Remembering the night you stayed up until 7 am until I finally spoke to you. The song that was playing. How you just want to tell me that you love me but you can't, how you just want to make all of this go away, in your sweater, in your arms. How much my heart still stings whenever I hear it, you are the yellow line in the subway, you are the extra drink every friday night. You're the stinging feeling everytime I open my eyes in the morning. The walk to the bus, the 808s and heartbreak forever on repeat. I can't even bring myself to be around you anymore. You smile at the pain in my eyes, and you called me heartless.