I really need to talk to someone right now before I do anything stupid. On edge and I'm being pushed and pushed and pushed and I can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes you're all getting murdered. Who the fuck can I call? FUCK FUCK FUCK I'm slipping and it's fucking scary. Remember when you told me you're there for me, multiple times, you said you'd do what it takes to make things better? Oh fuck, you were drunk and feeling guilty, I need to remember the difference.. You don't know what it means to be there for somebody. You don't know what it means to be there for me. Everything has lost it's meaning. Everything. God I will gve anything to keep my sanity, I want to live, I really fucking want to live.
I feel this great, great pressure coming down on me…
and its constantly coming down on me…
crushing me…
"But if you wake up, will you be mad?"
Ben where the fuck are you I love you to this day but I can't do this on my own anymore.
To be there for someone: pick up a call at 1:49am, drunk, and reassure them everything is Ok, despite the aching head and semi conscious state of mind.
ReplyDeleteThere's no need for sanity, what you cant guide with your mind, you can guide with your heart.
i wouldn't make that my definition, but you are right about the sanity, thank you.
ReplyDelete