We're all walking through the hallways and seeing the pain and the glances and we all feel it. Repeatedly thinking, how much we wish we were there for him. We wish we could have made a difference in his day, his week, his life. We think we could have.
We know we couldn't, it is almost impossible to be aware. The same goes for the millions of lives that have and will come to an end during this lifetime.
Despite this I am sure there is at least one person for everyone and what we can in fact do is be aware of the ones close to us. Stop and wonder if you know what goes on in my head. What goes on in someone's head that you consider your friend. Should be a lot easier shouldn't it? But not everyone is going to call you and tell you that they feel like dying every morning, you'll never look past someone being rude to you, people aren't even capable of wondering WHY anymore. It takes a smile or a simple question, some fucking effort for understanding. Sometimes you will do more than just not ask, you will make sure I feel that you don’t have the slightest interest in hearing what is going on inside my head. A lot of the time, people find out once it’s past too late. It’s been getting worse over the months. Today really put things in perspective didn't it? With everything that keeps happening, this series of unfortunate events I keep catching myself wondering what it would have to take for someone to genuinely care? People listen when someone is dying. People care when someone is dead. I really hope I don’t have to kill myself for you to finally wish you were there for me.
Adam, I want to believe with my whole being that I am not alone when I say I will change in your memory.
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