You know,

I really want to write about last night. I want to write down everything that happened after the four pints we  finished, after your confession, after I felt like dying when saying I could never feel the same. I wish I could talk about how I felt when we were sitting outside of the bar yesterday, when I told you I'm tired of being alone but it's the only way I could go about things. I want to write about the rest of my night when I met someone else. But it's all bullshit because I don't feel anything anymore. I had to drink to feel something last night. I used to stay sober to feel. Now I'm sober, and I can no longer write.