Last Night..

I don't know if I can put it into words now. I cannot believe I sat there dreading it. Because last night was amazing.


In every aspect; Oli really lit up my night. I did not know women could be so smart, its like they were all put into one room yesterday. I can never view my friends the same way again after what her and Victor explained to me. This is actually quite enlightening, and a weight off my chest. They're right when they say that at 21 we're going to want that cash and that car and our own place. But we won't have that because when we were in highschool we were too busy trying to fight the whole world. We were too caught up in everything but what matters. And things do get better, you  just have to be patient, and that guy who is meant for you, he'll come along when the time is right. Which definitely isn't now.
Lena is the best. Honestly I've never met a woman like her, I'm in love. 
"Boys will always love you.
Boys will always need you.
Boys will love you for your eyes,
Boys will love you for your legs,
But your mama will need you no matter how fucked up you are."
Smiles!
So, men, who consciously and sub-consciously thrive off playing with our feelings, when something really bad happens why don't you just stop, say "Honey, you're right!" and do the complete opposite of what they expect you to do? Fuck with their heads. Because this boy who is in front of you right now, you won't get married to him. And you won't have kids with him. So have fun. Don't get all offensive and sensitive if he really hurt you. Just play. 
But what if he "reallllllyyy touched your heart"  and you still cant get past it and on and all that bullshit..Well you're a female aren't you? Make yourself a goal. Make him get used to your warmth and your caring personality and all your love and then just disappear. He'll love you forever. 


Okay I'm sorry if that sounds a bit cruel. We're all so fragile lately. But at the end of the day you have yourself to believe in. Only yourself. Oh and to all the pretty ladies, you know when sometimes it seems like your friends are just being a little rude and distant for no reason? Well stop trying to look for that reason within yourself, it's not your fault. Remember how old we are. Jealousy and bitchiness is prime. Don't let anything get to you, you're better than that. Because you're all beautiful and you've all gone through an awfully big adventure to get to where you're standing right now. You are your own person with a lot of positive attributes and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.


Three bottles of martini champagne, big emerald earrings, lace tops, silk skirts, a million dollar venue. Theres a live band playing Hotel California. Theres a couple getting married.  I've never seen anyone dance as nice as T does. I remember I once said I don't believe in magic anymore. I remember I said I look for magic within people.