I tried so hard, and honestly last night felt golden, I felt like I did a good thing for once. I thought to myself, this is the beginning, and it's going in the right direction, this feels right, this is right, I'll pull you out, this is already a progress. The look on your face, there was hope, somewhere deep inside, there was hope. I should have looked twice, because it was all blown away a couple of hours later. I mean, I expected this, but you saw my reaction, you knew perfectly how it made me feel and you said, you told me you wouldn't do it. I had no idea how far in you are, I did not realize it has gone this far. Why am I even tryng? I don't even know what I'm talking about, who am I? This isn't even reality, this is all a dream..
It was a dream, not a nightmare, a beautiful dream I could never imagine in a thousand nods. There was a girl next to me who wasn't beautiful until she smiled. And I felt that smile come at me in heat waves following, soaking through my body and out my finger tips in shafts of color and I knew somewhere in the world, somewhere, that there was love for me.
fuck, this is the worst entry so far
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